Just as I'm turning over a new leaf, making things right, learning from my mistakes and listening to both my heart and head I find myself in a ridiculous situation yet again. I keep on doing this, never thinking ahead and thinking if I will ever regret my actions, which in most cases I do! I'm suppose to be an adult yet I'm making childish decisions which I choose to run away from and pretend aren't there. Speaking of childish behaviour...
The ninth,always use protection! Unwanted things happen when you don't! Pregnancy and STI's .
Although we all class ourselves as adults we act childish when it comes to responsibility, we all need to choose what we want and hold our hands up to whatever we have done. I constantly feel like I've made mistakes but I take responsibility for it and hold my hands up, say I'm guilty and I done it, what else is there to do? Having unprotected sex is a choice but we shouldn't leave fate to decide what it chooses to happen to you afterwards. After all we live to make ourselves happy.
The tenth step... Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't make you happy. I discovered this when I was 16, thinking everything was perfect but looking back now I argued all the time with my ex. Sometimes we stay with people out of habit and that's exactly what I have done in the past but no more.
Just writing a few pages have helped me, although at the moment it feels like nothing ever will. Mistakes after mistakes, heartache after headache and regret after regret. My mum says times the best healer and she's right! Time doesn't make anything easier, it just helps you cope with the pain. I've now got a clear head of what I want and now it's time to put them thoughts into actions. It seems that time away will help me, it helped my mum recover and maybe me too. Whitstable is such a small town and I haven't yet found out whether its the place that makes me upset... Or the people.
The eleventh step... Having get away! Somewhere I can run to for thinking time or time for me. I always spend time thinking of what other people think or feel and now it's time for me. Things fall apart but it's important to have the time and space to fix the important things, the less important things can wait. If I don't deal with it now it will all get on top of each other and I will feel even more lonely then I do now. I don't want to let down myself and my family, I don't want my parents thinking they haven't done their job because their teenage daughter is finding things a little difficult and making wrong choices in life.
The twelfth step... This is the most important step, it's the one that has to be on going, one that links all the other steps together, keeping me strong and keeping me going when I feel like everything's too much. This step sums it up altogether... So the twelfth step... Don't be afraid to say NO MORE.
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