Boys of the past (poem)

It all started with a boy called joe,
Back in the days I weren't called a hoe,
Then I met a boy called Todd - long relationship for poppy how odd,
Then there's Ben who was a childhood friend,
Of course that didn't work out in the end,
Thomas was from ashford town,
Only once did he ever come down,
Brad who I thought looked like a model,
Although he used to be fat and walk with a waddle,
Arranged marriage with ginger dan,
I left the rose he bought me and off I ran,
James looked like stewie from family guy,
But as I soon discovered he was prone to lie,
Yet again I met another James,
And like the other he liked to play games,
Ben said he would cook lunch for me,
I went to his house and no food did I see,
Meeting Keelan was a blur,
Laying on his bed getting covered in cat fur,
George was the boy who had his tongue done,
But he was the definition of just having fun,
Cailin and will set me up with Bertie,
Tall,skinny and trying to act flirty,
Charlie became obsessed with me,
And threatened any boy I happened to see,
George walked in Nero like a love scene,
I whispered to my mum I was a loved up teen,
I met up with tommy the day I came home,
We tried to go to sleep but weren't left alone,
I had met up with Kane once before,
Stumbling in my heels I fell on the floor,
I then added George on Facebook,
Soon after that our relationship took,
Brewery bar lead me to meeting jack,
Didn't take long before I was in his sack,
Met guy in brewery bar,
Seeing two girls taking it too far,
I was meant to meet Harrison's friend not him,
But after all he ran after my every wim,
Manager of the bar's name was dan,
He didn't turn out to be my biggest fan,
Me and Lewis happened so quick,
But somehow I knew it wasn't going to stick,
Josh invited me and Emma to the love shack,
And gave us vodka for a midnight snack,
What is it with these boys called dan?
They like to screw me over as much as they can,
Got with someone who's name was tutt,
Rumours spread and now I'm a slut,
Alfie was such a cheeky chap,
But like the rest he deserved a slap,
Toms eyes were piercing and big,
But then again he turned out to be a pig,
Conor was a little bit of a chunk,
But at the time we all think their a hunk,
Oliver was more stuck up then an erection,
But why feel the need to show affection,
Scott liked to groom himself and look nice,
Only ever had to meet up with him twice,
Jack reminded me of my ex,
But that wasn't an excuse for the act of sex,
Liam liked to fish all the time,
So why have I added him to this rhyme?
Sam was a stoner, a people pleaser,
My dad used to think he was an alright geezer.