Oh boy.

I haven't wrote on my blog for a while now and thought it was about time I updated it! This is probably the longest I've been single in a while and usually I would have sacked off a few boys after a week of 'seeing' them, because I push and push to see how much I can until they break and walk away. I'm not entirely sure why I do it, I think it's just to put them through their paces and see how much of me they can take.

I know I'm impossible but how long will it take them to realise and get fed up. I know there's a few things I need to work on like being too keen and trying to get into a relationship before I have figured out if I even like them that much. I also need to work on trusting people but trust is earned not given so I don't owe them anything from the start, they have to prove it ...not by doing certain things but just by being themselves.

I'm not going to lie I like being in a relationship, I like the security and reassurance that someone is there for me. I like knowing that someone thinks good of me instead of these little patches where I feel not important to anyone. I put so much effort and thought into every little detail once I've met someone, probably to show them that yes I can be moody, snap and a bit unpredictable but I do think a lot of them and I do want things to work even if one minute I'm up and the next I'm down.

It's difficult to understand someone when your not in a relationship with them, well from my point of view anyway. I never know how much is too much, or when to let them have my trust when usually it gets broken almost straight away. Until you understand me you can't be with me, well that's going to be difficult because half the stuff I do or say I don't really understand but there's always reasons behind it. If your the boy that understands me and comes back time after time because there's just something there you don't want to give up on... Then your right for me and if you have read all my blog and still see me the same as you already did ... Then your right for me.

I'm not saying this 'boy' already exists and I'm not saying we will live happily ever after because you never know what's round the corner but if your the boy who has read this and still thinks he can make it work... The rest doesn't need to be said.