I'm the first to hold my hands up and say when a relationship isn't working, but I'm the last to give up on a friendship. I think I'm the only one who would say that and actually mean it. I used to think my friends were the only people who I knew would be there for me... But they weren't. I thought it was just a duty of being a friend, something you didn't have to worry about and something that just happened naturally. It's natural to me to be a good friend, so why is it so difficult for others? Maybe I just haven't got good friends!
It's taken me so long and I've gone back and forth and i've came to the conclusion that now is the time to give up on a friendship that is most certainly one sided. Oh so you don't need me do you? Well that's okay but when things fell apart before who was the first to be there? Who was the only one who didn't judge or take sides? Oh that was me was it? Well not anymore... You're on your own. I have always felt like I've been on my own, so I guess that means you've always been a shit friend. I felt alone through every break up whether they were serious ones or not, but I bet you didn't? No of course not, because I was there. It doesn't matter anymore because now I've realised what type of friend I do deserve it has made me not bother with the ones who aren't good enough.
It's the same with boys, now I've seen what it's like to have someone who honestly doesn't want to hurt my feelings, I'm not going to waste my time with ones who act like they do. I understand that some friends are more laid back than others and I get it... I'm 'full on' but wouldn't you rather have someone who cared too much then to not care at all? Because I certainly would. I wouldn't want someone who was unsure on a friendship or relationship because I'm not a maybe person. I hate the word maybe, it's either a yes or no, a here or there and no in between. There can't be one, because if there's is then that's where confusing comes into things, that's when boundaries get crossed and feelings get hurt. And I sure know what it's like to have my feelings hurt.
No comments:
Post a Comment