A baby on the way ...

Since the day I knew you existed I've loved you. I'm writing down how I feel during this pregnancy so when your older I can read it to you, I can show you how close we were at this stage, after all you are made from me... And your dad.  I'm going to be completely honestly with you ... You weren't planned and me and your dad certainly didn't expect this to happen from a love that hadn't even formed and a love we weren't sure would exist.  Just because we aren't together doesn't mean that our love for you will be any different then if we were. I'm so grateful that I met your dad because in less then 6 months I will have the most precious gift in my arms. Like I said ... You weren't expected but you are the greatest surprise I  will  ever receive in my lifetime.  I found out you existed on January the 7th 2014 but I had a gut feeling you existed before I had the proof. Both me and your dad were shocked and  scared but nothing scares me more then not being able to see you every day! I've had  3 scans already in the space most people only have 1!  I'm 13 weeks pregnant with you now and your a fully formed tiny baby! When I was 5 weeks pregnant I had a scan and saw just a tiny flicker on the screen,  I first saw you the 21sf of January. Then this Tuesday I saw your fully formed body, face and heartbeat, I've got print outs that I can show you... So tiny! You have a nose and well I'm not too sure what parents nose you would have a gift to have but looking  at you... You are perfect. I've never felt this way before  in my life. Seeing you on the screen and knowing that your growing inside me is so surreal. Knowing that me and your dad made you makes me even more grateful for meeting him! I can't talk on behalf of anyone else but I can PROMISE you that I do/will love you every second of everyday. You are going to join a family that really know what unconditional love is. We all know that you can love someone and not see them everyday, so don't for one second doubt the  amount you are loved because it's more then you will ever know. I can promise you that you will have the most Amazing role models in your life, your grandad and uncles  are the most loving, caring and protective men in this world and you will never have to feel scared or alone with this family around. The females are just as great... Your aunties are the creative ones, showing you how to make things from love.. Which is what your made of. Your aunties will fix any problem you have with a simple hug, just like they do for me. Your nanny  is the best, she grew me from nothing into a tiny baby just like what I'm doing with you... That's the gift mothers have. It's an amazing gift, something I'm experiencing as we speak. I promise you that I will always be open and honest with you, just like my mum has been with me. I've learned from the best so I will show you the best I can too. I love you even though I haven't held you in my arms, people say they believe in love at first sight... But I've loved you from the moment I knew you existed. That's the beauty of motherhood. Endless love.